I was in an elevator with a fellow geek and started to get some grief about my appearance. I’m wearing a Kenneth Cole button down shirt with matching tie (I hate ties but the dress code here requires me to wear one daily), nice khakis, Kenneth Cole shoes (I really like 90% of the stuff they make, the other 10% I absolutely detest), and a nice pair of Ray Ban sun glasses. He’s more of a typical geek, ratty shoes, faded khakis that are an inch too short and show off his bright white socks with a Wal-Mart shirt and tie.
Anyways, he knows me, respects my work, but was just giving me some friendly razzing for dressing nicely. The term metro-sexual came up once or twice…
I really hate to be judged. He doesn’t realize and would never believe me if I told him that I used to be the same way he was. Then I had a girlfriend who, I guess you could say was slightly superficial. Okay, really superficial. We fought over the subject of clothes and appearances all the time.
It all came to a head after I had lasik eye surgery about 4 years ago. After having the surgery I became extremely sensitive to light. They give you a free pair of wrap around sunglasses at the doctor’s office for you to wear home and I kept them in my car and continued to use them afterwards. I didn’t care, they worked and they worked well. Anyways, my girlfriend at the time hated them. She would get in the car, accidentally knock them on the floor and step on them. They would break, I would tape them, and tell her now she has to deal with me wearing taped up crappy sunglasses. We fought and fought and she finally told me that she would leave me if I did not go out and spend a $100 on sunglasses. I was embarrassing her…
So there I am at the mall looking at sunglasses and almost choked. The cheapest one with a UV tint was around $150. I’ve never spent $150 on an article of clothing before and couldn’t see paying that much on a pair of glasses, so I left. On my way out of the mall I see one of those cheapo dollar stores with a sunglasses rack right out in front by the cash register. I went in there and bought a 100 pairs of cheapo sunglasses, went home and said “here honey, I spent $100 on sunglasses. Are you happy now?” It wasn’t the money, it was the principle of the whole thing. I won’t spend $150 on something that costs less than a $1 to manufacture. I can’t do it.
Anyways, that didn’t go over so well…and she did leave…and then later came back. I finally broke down and she drug me back to the mall where I ended buying a $175 pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. The same ones I carry with me today.
Once I gave an inch, she took a mile. Most of my clothes at the time were at least 5 years old (the last time I grew) and I hadn’t bought anything more than a single pair of $15 jeans in the past year. She made it her mission in life to change my wardrobe.
“Baby have you seen my favorite brown pullover?”
“Which one? Not the one that used to be black that your sister gave you for your birthday in the tenth grade?”
“Yeah, that one. I love that shirt, it’s so comfortable.”
“Oh you did? Sorry I was cleaning the bathroom with bleach and needed a rag. It was right there on the bathroom floor. Sorry…”
This continued and I eventually ran out of clothes, but at the same time I refused to waste money buying new ones…so it was either go naked or listen to her.
After the naked thing didn’t work she started taking me to the mall stores. It was exhausting to say the least. “Nope, too expensive.” “Is this a joke…$100 for a pair of jeans?” Eventually her strategy changed…because I surely wasn’t. She started only taking me to sales at the mall and Old Navy, Marshall’s, and TJ Max for everything else.
All the sudden I started having nice clothes and at the same time, on a daily basis besides my shoes (which I’ve had for 3 years now and just get shined every 6 months in an airport), the clothes I wear probably average a total of $30. She’s happy and I’m happy that she’s happy (we did eventually break up...just way too different people to be together...and happy at the same time).
That year period after I had lasik and was forced to change my overall appearance really changed my entire life. Women start talking to me without any particular need to and without any money being exchanged. My salary doubled in the next six months. Then it doubled again a year later. Random people carry on random conversations with me in awkward public settings. I really wish I could have had more of an adjustment period, though. This happened almost overnight and I was not ready for that type of change. I was told by more than a couple people that I came off as conceited…all because I was a shy geek who preferred chatting over face to face conversation. I’ve always avoided talking to people I didn’t know. I eventually saw how I was coming off as an ass. People thought I was brushing them off.
I’m still the same down to earth guy that grew up in Wal-Mart clothes and enjoys being in front of my computer, but now I wear nicer clothes. I don’t spend any more time or money now than I used to on my appearance (not completely true, I do make a trip to the dry cleaners every week now…I used to not even iron…still don’t, but that’s what the dry cleaners is for). Now I just do it a little smarter and the benefits have been fantastic. Money…social acceptance…neither of which I would have had if not for changing my clothes. Appearance really is everything.